Sex – Definitely Worth The Wait! (Part 1)

I waited 25 years to have sex, and I don’t regret a minute of it.

Some of you will laugh, others will call me crazy, some have said that they respect me but they could never do it and there are others that don’t understand why. It wasn’t always easy, but I made a choice, and I’m so glad that I did.

So why did I wait? My number one reason is because God created sex to be inside marriage. You might be thinking, God didn’t create sex!? If he created the world and everything in it, including human beings then he must have created sex, it’s definitely not something that ‘just happened’! Or maybe you don’t even believe in God, that’s ok, please don’t stop reading, sex is still worth the wait.

I am not trying to condemn anyone or make anyone feel guilty, my heart behind writing this blog is to encourage people to think before they make the huge decision of whether they are going to wait until marriage through sharing my personal experiences. I believe sex is worth the wait.

Why? Because you’re worth it.

I am grateful to have had many good influences in my life, especially my parents, who taught me the importance of saving myself until marriage. I hope that I can also make a difference in people’s lives and encourage them to save themselves for marriage too. I’m also blessed to have an amazing husband who never pressured me to have sex while we were dating, he loved me enough to wait.

Why not?

There are plenty of practical reasons why not including unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections/diseases but I think the biggest reason is emotional.

There is an emotional bond that is formed during sex. I watched a DVD when I was in high school of a woman called Jeannie Mayo. She was talking about sex before marriage and I always remember the illustration she gave (in my own words).

If you put sticky tape on a piece of paper and then rip it off, it leaves traces of paper on the sticky tape. And then if you put that same piece of sticky tape on some clothes and rip it off, there are now traces of fluff on it to add to the paper. Eventually the sticky tape has all sorts of different things stuck to it that are impossible to get off.

Having sex has the same effect. Every time we have sex, we are joining ourselves together with another person, and if it’s outside of marriage then eventually we leave, or breakup or whatever happens, and there is always an emotional part of us and that person that is stuck together that we can never get rid of and will often cause problems down the track.

Why do we have sex outside of marriage? Usually because we’re looking for love. The act of sex will not ultimately fulfill you. Yes, it will make you feel good for a while, but you will be left longing for something deeper, something more permanent.

For me, the main reason that I waited was that I wanted to give the best possible wedding gift to my husband. What better gift to give on your wedding night then the gift of yourself? Even though I had no idea who my husband would be when I made this decision, I wanted to save myself for him. When I finally did get married, my husband was so grateful, so blessed, so overwhelmed that I would save myself for him and in return I was grateful, blessed and overwhelmed! It is truly the greatest way to say I LOVE YOU.

How is it even possible to wait that long?

It’s a choice. Just like everything else in life. We can let our bodies, our emotions or our friends control us or we can make a choice and be in control. I made a choice that I wasn’t going to have sex until I was married.

Was it easy? No way!

I’m a human too, I have feelings and my body has needs. There were times when I wanted to have sex, but I stood strong in the decision that I had made.

How?

As well as making a choice I also had to put boundaries in place in my life to stay away from temptation as much as possible.

Some of the boundaries I had were:

1. Keep the door open (don’t be alone in a room with a person of the opposite sex)

2. Wear clothes that aren’t revealing (don’t want to attract the opposite sex in a sexual way)

3. Skip the sex scenes in movies (and avoid movies that are all about sex!)

4. Avoid talking about sex, reading about sex or joking about sex (when it’s on your mind, it’s hard to get it off)

Our weaknesses will also determine what sort of boundaries we put into place. If we know that hugging a guy/girl turns us on, then one of our boundaries will be to not hug guys/girls! You might think that sounds silly, but it’s the small things that usually get us in trouble! It sounds simple in theory, but it is hard to do.

TRUST ME, it is SO worth the wait! Make sure you check out next weeks blog for the 2nd half of this article which will include challenges I faced, why it’s not too late for anyone and what’s so good about sex within marriage!

Be blessed!

Jade Tanzil

Check out Part 2 here!