30 Years of Marriage!!

We’re in for a treat this November because this blog is going to be all about…. MARRIAGE!

And no, I’m not going to give you marriage advice! I’ve only been married 6 months! I need ALL THE ADVICE I CAN GET!

The people who are going to give us marriage advice just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary on the 31st of October, and those same people happen to be my parents!

So what I’m going to do is have a Q & A style blog, I’ll get the ball rolling with a few questions and if any of you have any questions you want to ask about marriage, feel free to send them through and we’ll see what we can do! (can’t promise they’ll all be answered)

This week, however, my parents are celebrating this huge milestone by having a week holiday, so we’re not going to disturb them, instead, I’m going to write seven thoughts on why I think they made it to 30 years and why they’ll make it another 30!

1. They communicate

My parents TALK! Communication is a major key to the success of any relationship and something my parents remind me of often! COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY! My parents don’t just expect that the other knows what they are thinking. They understand that neither of them are mind readers! And that male and female brains operate in completely different ways. To combat this they communicate regularly. They ask each other regularly - ”How are you? (really)” and ”Did I do anything that annoyed you this week?”

2. They love each other – not just through words, but through actions

It’s easy to say I LOVE YOU, but harder to show it. My parents both know what the other likes and they often come home and surprise them with that thing. For example, dad knows mum loves a certain type of ice cream (which is sometimes really hard to get!), so he will go out of his way to get it every now and then. When dad goes away mum puts notes in his bags encouraging him and telling him how awesome he is! It’s the little things that really make the difference.

3. They don’t ignore the problems

My parents are not perfect, neither is their marriage, which I’m sure we will hear about in the weeks to come. They have problems, as does everyone. The important thing however, is how they handle their problems. And in my opinion they handle them well. They don’t ignore them, sometimes there is a cooling off period that is needed, but they address them as soon as they can, they talk about it together, they are there for each other, they work through them together.

4. They sacrifice their own needs for the other

My parents understand that marriage isn’t all about themselves! It’s not about what they want to get out of it, satisfying their own needs or their own desires, but about giving the other person the best and doing everything they can to meet the others needs! When they focus on themselves, their needs aren’t met but when they focus on each other and make an effort to meet each others needs, their own needs are met.

5. Divorce isn’t an option for them

I have never even heard either of my parents mention the word divorce (in regards to their own marriage). I know that it isn’t an option for them. It’s not even something they would consider no matter what they went through. They are in this forever, there’s no plan B.

6. They are romantic

The romance hasn’t stopped! Dad still gives mum flowers, mum still makes dad’s favourite meals, they still go on dates regularly. This requires effort on their behalf but they have a passion for romance because they understand that it blesses the other person and keeps their marriage alive and exciting!

7. They make time for each other 

Life is busy. There’s not much you can do about that, especially if you want to make a living. Both of my parents work full time, and their jobs are at completely different times, so if they didn’t make time, they would never see each other! They haven’t always both worked full time, but other things also get in the way, a big one of those is kids! My parents always make sure they have at least one half day together per week, just the two of them, where they can spend time and share what’s on their hearts and minds with no distractions!

So there you have it!  I can’t wait to read the wisdom that they’re going to share over the next couple of weeks! Make sure you don’t miss out!

Be blessed, Jade Tanzil